


Thorns In The Garden

by PredictableDisaster



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Character Study, F/F, kinda? idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:40:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26571556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PredictableDisaster/pseuds/PredictableDisaster
Summary: A conversation on some feelings.
Relationships: Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam
Kudos: 19





	Thorns In The Garden

**Author's Note:**

> i haven't slept therefore it is time to write and project my feelings onto two of my favourite characters about some things i've been thinking of

Kanaya: Rose   
Rose: Hm?   
Kanaya: I Love You  
Rose: I love you too.  
Kanaya:  
Kanaya:  
Kanaya:  
Kanaya: Why Do You Do That?  
Rose: Respond to your statements of affection? That would likely be because I am your partner and I feel the same way.  
Kanaya: Rose.  
Rose: Ah, wrong answer it seems.  
Rose: What do you mean?  
Kanaya: The Way You Respond Is Baffling And Out Of Character For You.  
Kanaya: You Respond With No Hesitation, No Sarcasm, No Biting Remarks. Just Immediately After I Tell You I Love You, You Say It Back.  
Kanaya: While I Think That Good And Healthy, That Is Not What I Know You For.  
Kanaya: You Don’t Respond To Genuine Shows Of Affection Or Even General Emotions Without A Blanket Of Insincerity To Protect Yourself. You Dodge And Redirect, Hide Behind Sarcastic Smiles And Waved Hands; You Weave Yourself Out Of The Situations The Moment You Can And Leave Everyone Guessing If You Even Took It Seriously.  
Kanaya: I Want To Believe It’s Because You Mean It; Because You Are Open In At Least This Aspect Of Your Emotions And You Are Working To Be Better About It Overall. But I Can’t When Every Time You Say It, You Look Like You’re Trying So Very Hard To Hide Something.  
Kanaya: So Rose Lalonde, I Ask Again:  
Kanaya: Why Do You Do That?  
Kanaya:  
Kanaya:  
Kanaya:  
Kanaya: Rose. Please.  
Rose: Wait, Just-  
Rose:Please give me a moment.   
Kanaya: You Have Been Doing This For So Long And I Feel That I’ve Given You So Many Moments Already.  
Rose: I-  
Rose: Okay. You’re right.  
Rose: It would be a lie to say that I’m not hiding anything, but I suppose the intentions of the façade are rather different from what you think it might be.  
Rose: I am not trying to falsify my emotions for your benefit- I truly feel the same.  
Rose: I want to bare my whole being to you, scrub myself raw of every slime that has tainted me to be worth your presence, I want to give you the scalpel and let you explore and find the deepest and darkest parts of my insides  
Rose: I will gladly walk through fire and brimstone if only to have you *glance* at my way.  
Rose: This- Us- Just everything about being with you and feeling all these things for you is the most natural thing that I have ever experienced in my life. And you *reciprocate it*. I give you so much of me and you give back in equal parts and it feels like pieces slotting in perfectly together.  
Rose: And yet I never felt that with *her*.  
Rose: I may have come to the realization that she meant her words, that she truly did care for me and everything I did. And after meeting Roxy that just rang the bell of truth louder. But it never *felt* like that and every time I refused to respond to her actions she would just repeat them until something happened.  
Rose: And every recurrence felt more hollow than the last. And even to this day, that is how so many things feel. So as a preservation skill, I just  
Rose: Respond  
Rose: No hesitation or moment to process it; I merely return things to be free of the burden these actions have on me.   
Kanaya: I See.  
Rose: The most comforting pair of words to hear from your partner after prostrating yourself.  
Kanaya: I Don’t Know What You Want Me To Tell You.  
Kanaya: This Explains Things But It Doesn’t Comfort Me. You Respond So Fast And Look So Lost Every Time Because You Think My Words Are Hollow. And Yet You State That You *know* That They Aren’t, That You Know I Mean It When I Tell You These Things- When I Tell You That I Love You.  
Kanaya: I Don’t Know What Else To Tell You. What To Say To Convince You That Your Think Pan Is Playing Tricks On You. That You Don’t Need This Defense Mechanism. Because You Already Have Everything In Front Of You, But You Can’t Accept It.  
Rose: Maybe this is just another thorn in our little garden.  
Kanaya: Maybe.  
Kanaya: Maybe We Can Find The Right Clippers, And One Day Be Free Of It.  
Kanaya: Or Maybe We’ll Just Have To Live With Forever Bleeding Out For Each Other.

**Author's Note:**

> is it sad? not really. more of a study on affection and such. anyway if you want to yell at me go over at my [tumblr](https://chezforshire.tumblr.com) maybe who knows


End file.
